My Poem - 2002 - Never Again!

I learned a new trick today
Making me smile and giggle and gay
My gut you see is out of control
Weighing more than a truck of Coal
The trick I learned would give me space
It opened 3 inches up in the waist
The rubber band it holds my fly
The pressure's released I gleefully sigh
All the day my smiles clear
Finally pants I need not fear
Relaxed I go and stuff my face
More and More I love the taste
Fries and burgers and ice cream galore
For food I'd sell myself, "you whore"
More and More there's not enough
Cookies and Cream and cheesy puffs
Give it Give it Bring it here
The band will stretch, I need not fear
I'm finished now I leave the table
I walk as fast as I am able
My belly's big, A dicky-do
That's ok.. the band is new
.
Then It happens, the worst of all
The stretchy band broke, and my pants did fall!
Poor little guy, he fought so hard
But how could I expect him to hold such lard?
Embarrassed now I run for the car
Holding my pants while eating a bar
My diet attempts they always fail
Forever am I the HUMAN WHALE!

~Nick Berry 2002